Lily Aurora Evans
by Sesshiria
Summary: It's another Invisible Lily story. I'm not sure if it'll be like all the others or not, but hey, however it comes out, it'll come out. Please read. It's not like I can make you, but i'd appreciate it.
1. Beginning Sixth Year

None of it made any sense. I looked back on my life, and all those memories came flying. James playing a prank on me. James asking me to dance. Me, running away from my life. Crying into James' shoulder when they were killed. James, making me laugh in the gravest of moments. Mia, Alex, Andi, and all the others, helping me through it. And yet I had no memories of those years. Those years when I was invisible. I didn't remember a thing from that time. It was as if I didn't really live those years, and, in a way, it was true. I hadn't really lived before that year. Yet, I wasn't vulnerable to him then. I didn't have anything to loose. Now, I did. And he was using it against me.

***

I slowly made my way onto the train and headed for the last compartment. I always sat there, whether others sat there with me or not. No one ever asked if they could stay, they just did. I didn't exist. 

My name was Lily Aurora Evans. I was a sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I had just been made a prefect. I was most certainly not expecting that! I had long, ugly, bushy, bright red hair and dull, murky green eyes that often got on my nerves. I had large, ugly glasses that covered my eyes so that I would not have to see them all day long. I was a bookworm. I don't think there was ever a time when I did not have a book in my arms and much of my time was taken up in the library. I had no friends either. No one realized I was alive, and no one knew my name. The only time anyone talked to me was when they wanted their homework done, and I was not in the position to refuse. Due to my invisible status, I, fortunately, never fell victim to the Marauders' pranks. They had figured out long ago that it was a waste to do anything to me because no one would care, not even the teachers. I always saw them torturing others and wished I could help, but I was too cowardly and I felt like a disgrace to Gryffindor. I also had no friends to back me up. Little did I know that all that could change in just one year at Hogwarts.

I quickly stowed away my extremely heavy trunk. I enjoyed sports, no matter how seldom I got to play them, and often practiced them on my own. The sport I practiced depended on my mood, but the range was tremendous. Doing this many sports, of course, had certain effects, and I, bookworm or not, was much stronger than the average girl of my age.

The buzz of voices could be heard just outside the compartment and I went over to see what was up. I reached the door and, right on cue, the Marauders ran right into and past me while slamming the door shut and almost pinching my fingers. I, of course, didn't do anything about it. I returned to my seat and took out a book. I could just barely hear the Marauders' whispers.

"Who's she?"

"I dunno. Was she here last year?"

"She's a prefect, maybe we should have some fun?"

"We can't pick on her just 'cuz she's a prefect."

"Why not?"

"'Cuz you're one as well."

"Oh. I forgot about that."

"What are we supposed to do about her?"

"I dunno, but she's taken our compartment." 

So far, I had been amazed at the conversation. The Marauders had called this compartment for themselves in first year… just after I did. They had gone on all these years while I was there and had never once noticed, but they did now. I had picked up so much material from listening to them in that compartment that I could blackmail them into something every day of the year, but I was too cowardly for that. One thing I had picked up on that I couldn't use was that they were trying to be animagus, but couldn't perform the charm to complete it. The reason I couldn't use that? I was an unregistered animagus myself, but I had long since gotten the spell down. When I transformed, I became a phoenix. Now, an animagus is supposed to reflect who you are, so why I turned into such a magnificent, brave, and helpful creature was far beyond me.

"Should we kick her out?"

"Don't want her hearing too much."

"She's not really doing us any harm though."

"Why don't you do something to get her to go away on her own?"

"Why don't you?… Wait, I don't need an answer for that."

"You do it Sirius."

"Why?"

"Your best at scaring off girls."

"Oh. Oka… HEY!!! I resent that!"

"I'll do it."

It was getting rather annoying by this time. They would usually leave me be and I would read on in peace, but this was too much. I knew that I would probably be a major victim after this, but who would really care, right? I was the nobody that was invisible most of the time. Who would notice if I walked into the Great Hall with pink skin and orange hair? No one, that's who.

"If you're done deciding what to do with me? I'd like to get back to my book. After all, I claimed this compartment before you in first year and I've sitten here every year since then. I'm surprised you noticed me this year. So… how's the animagus work going? Haven't gotten the charm down yet? Pity. I learned that one in our second year. By the way, my name is Lily. Lily Evans… Just in case you were wondering." I was amazed at myself, though I didn't show it. The boys just stared at me with their jaws hanging. "Oh," I added. "You might want to close your mouths, you'll attract flies." After that, I went back to my book. Oh My God, I thought, I can't believe I just did that. 

We went a while in silence before the door opened again and in came the one person who did not ignore me, but the one I wished would more than anything. Severus Snape.

"Well, well, well," he began. "If it isn't…" He was about to say 'the Marauders', but his eyes happened to fall on me. He was the only reason I ever regretted being invisible. He had now lost all interest in the Marauders and was focused on me. "Hello, Flower," he said. "I've been looking for you. I think it's about time for our 'chat', don't you?" I tried to pretend I didn't hear him. He had tricked me the year before, but I wasn't stupid enough to fall for it again. "Evans," he snapped. "I think we need to talk." This was too much for me.

"No," I snapped back. "I am not leaving this compartment while you are near me. I won't go through it again." I was near tears at the memory. He, apparently, forgot there were other people there.

"You little bitch," he hissed. He grabbed onto me and began pulling me out of the compartment. "Mudbloods like you really should learn proper manners. I think it's time for a lesson." Both of us were oblivious to the others that were there to witness. He had a snarl on his face and was pulling me with all his might. I was in tears and was, for some reason, weakened and could not free myself.

"Hey, Snape!" someone called. Startled, Snape loosened his grip and paused. I quickly pulled away and felt my strength return. Snape had now recovered and was coming after me again, but I was ready. Just when he got within reach, I punched him in the nose with all my might. He stumbled back and was met with a variety of hexes. In a flash, he was unconscious. I fell to the floor, crying. He didn't get to do it this year, I thought, relieved.


	2. Arguements, Decisions, and Spanish Speak...

I was extremely subdued for the rest of the ride. Of course, I had always been a bit subdued, but either way. I sat in the corner of the compartment, trying to keep myself from crying, for the entire time. Or at least I tried to. After the first half hour or so, I felt someone come near and attempt to comfort me. Unused to this, I looked up, startled, and this momentary lapse of self-control cost me dearly. The tears I had so been trying to hold back flowed freely down my cheeks. 

Upon looking up, I saw three of the four Marauders standing over me, all looking confused and slightly uncomfortable. I pulled away slightly and tried to stop the tears once more, but I didn't wipe them away. My parents had always told me that I should be strong. I was not allowed to cry in their presence, show fear or hurt. And I could, most definitely, not show pain. If I did cry, they would find a way to keep me from wiping the tears away. They were left on my face as a sign of my weakness and also to embarrass me. Well, I thought, guess what mom and dad? You were right. I am embarrassed. I am weak. And there's not a damn thing you can to about it.

"Ummm…" One of them started. "Are you alright?" I kept my head down and heard a faint smack followed by an 'ow' and an exasperated 'idiot'.

The silence was almost deafening to me. Just then, the compartment burst open and Peter, the one who had stayed back, squeaked.

"MARAUDERS!!" the girl cried. Her name was Alexia Bernadett, and she was one of the extremely few girls who was beautiful, popular, ditzy (or at least that's what I thought), and could hang out with the Marauders without being a girlfriend to one of them. 

"Aye," Peter squealed. They would normally have all said it at the same time, but the other three were too busy worrying about me. Pitying me. I don't need their pity, I thought, if someone gives you pity, they're likely to become some sort of a friend, and I don't need friends. (My god I was most certainly a naïve idiot, wasn't I?)

"What's up guys?" Alexia asked, seemingly concerned. She caught site of me and a strange sort of recognition passed over her. "Hey," she said to me. "Aren't you that girl that Snape kept taunting last year? My god, I can't imagine what that must have felt like." 

"Yes, well," James said. "It seems he's been doing more than taunting her."

"Oh no," she gasped. "He didn't really do it, did he? I mean, I heard him talking about it, and threatening you that he was going to, but-"

"He uses Imperius," I whispered. "So that I won't fight him. I can sometimes break free, but it's very hard. When I'm under the spell, I have to do anything he wants. Anything to make him happy. So yeah, I guess you could say he followed through with it." Alexia's eyes traveled over my bare arms and legs (I was wearing a tank-top and shorts) and took in the bruises that Snape had left after just that brief encounter. The guys, of course, had never seen me before and had never heard of me, so they had no idea what was going on.

"What on Earth are you talking about?" Sirius asked.

"He," Alexia began, but she stopped and looked questioningly at me. I understood and nodded my consent. "He raped her." If possible, and I'm sure it was, the boys grew even more serious, gave me even more pity, and, of course, their hatred for Snape reached an entirely new level. For some reason, though, Peter couldn't seem to get it through his head what was going on. He seemed to be in a trance.

"What?" he asked, seemingly being pulled away from an important discussion with a chocolate frog card. He didn't seem to notice the glares he was being given. "I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention. Who's she?" He pointed to me. "And what did Sev, I mean, Snape do?" 

Sev. He was going to say Severus, and I knew. This, of course, (A/N: I say of course a lot, don't I? Now if only I could spell it right the FIRST time I type it)made me hate him instantly. First of all, this would mean that he had been lying to his friends and I loathed deceitful people (which happens to be the big reason I wasn't placed in Slytherin), and secondly, if he was on first name terms with Snape, it automatically meant trouble for me. I hate people, I thought, no matter that I'm one of them. 

At this point, I was wondering how messed up I really had become. I, Lily Evans, bookworm extraordinare, was hating the silence. Silence was my refuge, my love, and I was hating it. What had come over me? 

__

¿Quién sabe?

Huh?

__

No uniforme sé, y soy usted.

I'm talking to myself in Spanish, I thought, how wonderful.

__

Cierre para arriba.

I made a mental note to myself to learn Spanish after that, but was pulled from my inner wanderings by the others.

"So, will you promise us?" I hadn't heard a thing they had said, and I was most certainly not stupid enough to agree to something I didn't even know about.

"To what?" They stared at me in disbelief. Apparently, I looked as if I was paying attention… _Quizás que es cómo usted consigue lejos con él en clase._ Whatever.

"To go to Dumbledore when we get to Hogwarts and tell him about Snape." Of course this had occurred to me often, but I was such a coward (though, of course, I could not show it) that I always backed out. I wanted peace and I would not get it if I told on Snape. Now that these guys knew, though, it didn't seem like I could just let matters be any more. Yet, it was always worth a try. 

"No." I would most certainly not.

"No?"

"Is there an echo in here?" I gasped slightly and my hands covered my mouth in shock. Again, I had spoken out, and I most certainly did not do that often. The Marauders, however, were wondering why I looked as if saying that surprised. Alexia knew why though. My opinion of her had definitely change. She was _not_ a ditz. 

"Lily," she said. "You know we're going to go to him with or without you. Why don't you just make things a little easier and follow along?" She got me. I was backed into a corner with no place to run. I could cooperate or not, but the outcome would be the same.

__

"All right," I said. "I'll go with you." 

"Wonderful!" Everyone sat down, now that everything was settled, and did their own thing. I went back to my book, but none of it got read. I stared at the same page for the entire ride, thinking of ways out. Suddenly, the train stopped. I was pulled into a carriage with the rest, dreading what they were making me do. I hoped I'd find courage somewhere. Otherwise, I'd freeze, and Snape would never pay for what he did. Ooooh did I want him to pay. 

Fortunately, and unfortunately, we would have to sit through the sorting feast. My normally perfectly sorted out mind was a complete mess. Thoughts were rushing by and quite a few of them made no sense what so ever. How was I ever going to survive the year?

***

Disclaimer: I own the plot (which is non-existant), Alexia, and anything else that you don't recognize. Unless, of course, you haven't read the Harry Potter books (If you haven't I would like to ask why you're reading this fic) then you can believe that I own it all. Either way is fine by me. The Spanish comes from www.dictionary.com. 

A/N: Alrighty, this is the shortest amount of time it has ever taken me to write a chapter and I think that it turned out really bad, but I'll let you decide that. Thank you to those that have reviewed so far.

ladybugg2886: I don't know what was so interesting, but thanks

Milkyweed: Thanks, and here's the next chapter for you

Bon: Well, as you can see, you were right. Personally, though, I don't think it was that hard to predict.

G.D. Jade: Don't know what force caused you to think this is interesting, though I think I criticize myself a little too much, but thanks either way

To think, within the first day, I've already gotten four reviews. Compared to my other pen name (which I refuse to give out, cuz u don't need to know it) that's a lot. Thanks to you all. Toodles!


	3. Questions and Confrontations

"Bernadett, Alejandra." We had to sit through the entire sorting, and Alexia's (who, at this point, had asked me to call her Alex) sister was being sorted. It took a while, but the hat finally declared her a Gryffindor. Thinking of her name, I posed a question to Alex.

"Hey, Alex. Do you speak Spanish?" She was congratulating her sister at the time, but nodded affirmative. "What does…" I thought for a minute. "_Quién sabe _mean?"

"Who knows." 

"Huh?"

"It means 'who knows'."

"Oh… What about _Cierre para arriba?"_

"Ummm… Roughly? It pretty much means 'shut up'." I was telling myself to shut up… How quaint. 

The ceremony passed fairly quickly and soon the food was there. I was hungry, famished would actually be a better word, possible even starving, but I also felt that if I ate a single bit I would retch until there was nothing left. I could tell that most of them were looking at me, wondering if I was going to eat, and giving me almost every ounce of sympathy they had in them. I didn't want that though. I wanted them to leave me alone. I wanted to be the quiet, subdued Lily Evans that had no friends and needed none.

As I was thinking those thoughts, I could feel Snape's loathing gaze pierce me, and made me turn around those thought completely, thanking god that I had these people around to protect me.

"Liiillllyyyy!" Sirius waved his hand in front of my face as he sang out my name. I was quickly jerked back from my busy job of sorting out my thoughts, which were normally extremely well organized, but somehow got messed up. 

"Huh?" It was weak and a little dazed, but at least I said something. They all looked at me strangely and I noticed the food had disappeared. I knew what they wanted now. It was time to talk to Dumbledore. Oh God, I SO did not want to do this, but, before I knew it, they were dragging me off to the Headmaster's office. 

Fortunately, and unfortunately, no one seemed to know the password, and it seemed the gargoyle was getting impatient. It surprised us all.

"Well are you going to go in or not?" it snapped. "I haven't got all day! If you don't know the password, then guess!" We stared, dumbfounded, but the others soon took his advice and began guessing. I, for one, thought for a while, and finally came up with the answer. Before I could stop myself, I had blurted it out.

"Socks and lemon drops!" The gargoyle looked at me, relieved, and moved aside for us. We made our way up the moving staircase as I began dreading it even more. Just before we reached the top, I turned around and tried to run away.

__

¿El huir otra vez?

Whatever you said, yes.

__

¿Tu huirá siempre?

Ummm… most likely?

__

Tu es imposible.

Ummm…. Uhhh…. Whatever.

I had nearly reached the bottom when I heard the exact same thing from someone else.

"¿El huir otra vez?" I looked up and saw Andraia "Andi" Ramirez standing in from of me. She had once been a friend of mine, but I had pushed her away. Just like all the others.

"¿Otra vez?" I heard Alex ask behind me. I, of course, had no idea what they were saying. I looked around, completely and utterly confused.

"Huh?" Andi looked at me, an unusually serious look in her eyes.

"¿El huir otra vez? In other words: fleeing again?" Unfair, I thought. Totally unfair. She was using it against me. 

"I had no choice that time."

"You do this time, and, yet, you're still running." I shook my head furiously, as if that was going to clear it. I couldn't take this right now. Before anyone could stop me, I ran off blindly, not caring where I ended up. They would still tell the headmaster, and I would probably have to confirm it, but none of that mattered right now.

I was soon out of the school, and was headed toward the forest. As soon as I reached it, my path had a purpose. I was actually headed somewhere. Often, in previous years, I would come to this little glade in the forest where I could just be alone and sort everything out. No one had ever been brought to my spot, and I hoped to keep it that way. 

When I reached it, I quickly threw myself down at the truck of my favorite willow and cried. No one could reach me there, especially not my parents, so it didn't matter if I cried or not. Because of this, I lost myself. I just sat there and cried. I cried for everything. My parents, my sister who now hated me, my lost friends, my insanity, the people trying to be my friends now, my inability to allow them to get close to me, but, most of all, I cried for _her_.

***Third Person***

The look in Dumbledore's eyes was grave as he sent the students off to bed. He knew that something of the sort was bound to happen. The airs between the students were thin and it was only a matter of time. Yet, he hadn't been expecting Lily Evans to be involved. After that tragic incident, she had shut herself off from the world. She had faced so much already and it saddened Dumbledore, because he knew things would only get worse.

Looking down at the small figure running into the forest, he turned to his phoenix, Fawkes. 

"What are we going to do Fawkes? What are we going to do?" 


	4. Explanations and Songs

__

* Flashback *

"Hey, Athena!" Lily yelled after her best friend. They were spending the week camping. It was the summer before third year and they were celebrating Athena's birthday.

"What?" She looked back to find that Lily had fallen behind. She stopped and waited for her to catch up.

Lily was nearly there and was staring at the forest path so she didn't trip. She was pulled up, however, by a strangled scream from ahead. Looking up, she found Athena, suspended in midair and acting as though she was being strangled. Lily was about to rush forward when a black cloaked, and hooded, figure stepped in her way.

"This is a warning mudblood," it said. "Everyone you love and care for shall meet the same fate should you return to Hogwarts, as shall you should you not leave this place." Casting one last, sorrowful look at her lifeless friend Lily ran. After that, she pushed everyone away.

******************************************************

***First Person***

I'd been invisible then, but Athena still came to me. She was one of the nicest people ever born and no one ever could find a fault in her. How anyone could do something like that to her, I never could figure out. At that moment, I wanted to run up there and beat the crap out of that guy. I wanted to strangle him as he had her. I wanted to go there and trade myself for her, to give my life away and see her come back to life with my last breath… but I couldn't. 

I knew there was no way to bring her back, but that wasn't the reason I ran. I ran because I was afraid. Because I was a coward. Because I would rather save my own skin than possibly saving my friends. That was the one year I did not return to Hogwarts. I went to Beauxbatons that year, despite my parents' complaints. 

I wasn't at Hogwarts, but I didn't change. I was still quiet and didn't make friends. Despite what I maintained while there, I became popular. I like thinking that somewhere I could actually do that, even though a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was on the Quidditch team. They were also more in touch with the muggle world and even had a drama club. I had been in many of the plays, almost always a main part. 

At this point, I was so caught up in those fond memories, that I started singing one of my favorite songs that, strangely enough, seemed to fit.

I need you here to help me through

Though they tell me the answer I'm confused

From my eyes fall a tear and two

I feel I'm just a tool to be used

So come and help, 

me through this

Come and help,

Me find my way

Come and help me through this

Please,

Don't turn away

My heart was lost a long time before

All my little fairy tales left me be

I can't pretend I know what I'm doin' anymore

I wish my life would stop following me.

So come and help,

Me through this

Come and help,

Me find my way

Come and help me through this

Please,

Don't turn away

Come and help me through this…

Come and help me find my way…

Come and help me through this…

Please, please, please…

Don't. Turn. Away…

As I reached the last note, someone stepped through the bushes. My first thought was to change someone to something, but I didn't. He had found me. Probably smelled me from the other end of the forest with his senses. Who cared what happened anyway though, I should have been more perceptive.

"Hello, Moony."

******************************************************

***Third Person***

James and Sirius ran through the forest to catch up with Remus. Peter had already fallen asleep and it was impossible to wake him up when he did that. James was following Sirius as he got even more hyper in dog form when he suddenly stopped. 

James could hear Remus in his wolf form up ahead, but couldn't figure out why Sirius had stopped. He had been wondering where that Lily girl had gone to and what they had been talking about when Andi said again. 

Deciding to find out what was wrong, he stepped around Sirius to see for himself. There, in the middle of a small clearing, was Remus, but that wasn't why Sirius had stopped. Backed up against a large willow, but seemingly unafraid, was a tear-streaked Lily Evans, waiting patiently for the wolf to come and get her.

"Hello, Moony," she said calmly, yet somewhat sullen. Remus carefully made his way to attack her, creeping around and examining her from all angles. He growled and the hackles along his back stood up.

The curious wolf part of him dared to go a little closer to this strange human, but did not yet attack. As soon as he reached the first ring of vines from the willow, he jumped back. A shock of some sort made its way through his body and left him weaker. When he tried to move towards the tree again, the pain intensified. He quickly gave up and ran off with his tail between his legs, whimpering softly. 

Sirius quickly followed after him, but James stayed behind. There was a reason Lily shut herself off. There was a reason that she was invisible, that she was so mysterious. There was a reason she had to wait till she came here to cry. And he was going to find out. He stood right outside the circlet of vines, watching her and listening to the quiet. Slowly, he could make out a soft sound, but it gradually grew louder.

She was singing.

So come and help, 

Me through this

Come and help,

Me find my way

Come and help me through this

Please,

Don't turn away

******************************************************

A/N: strange chapter I think, but hey, the whole story's strange. The song is copyrighted to ME. I made it up in, like, six minutes. I am so proud of myself. I got strait A's on my report card (how I'll never figure out) and I decoded and memorized J.R.R. Tolkien's rune alphabet! Newho. I'll try to work on this some more, but I've got a whole bunch of other stories I've got to work on as well. Oh wellz. Now that I've bored you senseless with my time wasting babble I think I should go. TOODLES!!!

TAT

Thanks to:

Sarcasm Queen 

Milkyweed 

AmiAmiNSusu 

Tokyo's Angel


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